Somewhere Between Snack Time and Freshman Year, Life Sped Up

Somewhere between packing snack bags and watching him hit off a tee in the backyard… life sped up. I didn’t notice when it happened. There was no warning label, no countdown clock. Just one slow, ordinary day after another - until suddenly, it wasn’t.

Now here we are in high school varsity baseball season, sitting in the bleachers, watching a fifteen-year-old boy pitch like the world depends on it. And every time he steps on that mound, I catch a glimpse of the little boy he used to be - the one whose hat slid over his eyes, whose pants were tucked under the back of his cleats and who believed Gatorade was a food group. Not to mention the kid I taught how to use a spoon or go pee pee in the potty...

These days, he doesn’t need me the way he used to…

And here’s the honest truth - when he takes the mound, he doesn’t look for me first. He looks for his Dad. That’s their thing. The signals, the head nods, the silent “You’ve got this” conversations. The talks to and from games when he doesn’t ride the team bus. He likes for his Dad to take him…it’s those inspirational, manly baseball convos.

I love watching it though - it’s its own kind of sacred. I feel like he needed me more as a little boy, growing up until about age 12, then he shifted to wanting Dad more. They talk baseball like it’s nobody’s business! I guess that’s the emerging “manhood”. I love it and I’m here for it either way!

But every now and then, I swear he sneaks a tiny, barely noticeable glance toward the stands… just to make sure I’m there too. And honestly? I’ll take it. Because even if I’m not the first set of eyes he seeks out, I’m still part of the journey. But I know NOT to enter the dugout! That’s a no-no! There’s a time and place for Mom and it’s not the dugout! 😊

That’s been one of the biggest lessons this season of motherhood has taught me:

Our kids don’t outgrow their need for us…the need simply changes shape.

Little kids need you to fix things.

Teenagers need you to believe in them.

And midlife moms?

Well… we need grace, sunscreen and a sideline chair with decent back support. lol

I watch him pitch now with a mix of pride, awe and disbelief. He’s an amazing pitcher but somewhere between snack time and freshman year, the innings flew by… and no matter how loudly I cheer, I can’t slow the scoreboard of time.

But here’s where I find peace:

God sees every inning.

Every rise.

Every fall.

Every do-over.

Every lesson learned.

Every cheer, every Twizzler, every nervous-for-him moment, every quiet prayer whispered from the bleachers (that goes something like “Base hit, ball 4 kid…Lord please let him throw a strike”.) If you know, you know. Twizzler please… 😊


And just like my son steps onto that mound with confidence knowing his dad is watching, I know he sees me but it’s his Dad that he doesn’t want to let down (and of course his team…duh).

And honestly, there’s something comforting about knowing that while my son looks for his Dad in the stands, I get to look for my Father, too. Not with my eyes, but with my heart. And every.single.time, without fail, I find Him…steady, patient, unhurried. Still there. Not with judgment, but with love.

He’s not pacing the sidelines. He’s not keeping score. He isn’t frustrated when we miss the mark for the bazillionth time in a row. He is simply there. Present. Faithful. Leaning in with the kind of love that doesn’t flinch when life gets messy.

Midlife has a way of making you realize how desperately you need that kind of grace. The kind that fills the cracks where exhaustion sits. The kind that whispers, “You’re not too late. You’re not too far gone. You are forgiven. You are loved…even if you had a screaming match with your kids before school this morning.”

God’s grace doesn’t just cover the early years of motherhood, it carries us through the middle ones, too. Through the teenage seasons, the shifting identities, the slow letting-go. And somehow, it grows deeper as we grow older. Lord knows we need Him through these teenage years just as much (if not MORE!) as we did through those toddler years! The terrible two’s when we thought this was the worst ever…enter TEENAGER.  Lord help us all! 😊

Sometimes I think midlife might actually be the sweet spot of faith…the place where we finally slow down enough to notice Him in all the places He’s been all along. In the quiet mornings. In the car before baseball games or on our drive to/from work. In the humbling lessons we apologize to our kids for losing it on them. In the moments that stretch us and the ones that heal us.

Maybe the real beauty of this season is learning that God isn’t just watching over us… He’s walking with us…every step of the way.

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” - Isaiah 40:31